2015上海中考英语作文3例范文（附加分亮点分析）(2)

 

　　范文2及点评：

 

　　I want to invent a time machine

 

　　As a student who is experiencing unprecedented modern life nowadays, I would rather learn about the history and the future life of human being from a real experience than learn from a textbook. That’s why if I can work as a great inventor, inventing a time machine will be my first choice. The most important usage of my time machine will be visiting one of best schools in Tang Dynasty. As we all know, Tang Dynasty is famous for its open-minded education. Therefore, when I visit the school of the ancient city, I can not only try different ways of studying but communicate with people from different countries as well. Using a time machine is the most vivid way to learn history as it is both a record of mankind and a mirror of past, I am looking forward to the day when my time machine comes out. 

 

　　—新东方优能中考英语郭娟老师

 

　　精彩亮点分析：

 

　　亮点一：定语从句修饰对学生现在的生活

 

　　亮点二：用wouldrather…than…表达学生的意愿

 

　　亮点三：用if条件状语从句表达主题

 

　　亮点四：befamousfor因…而著名

 

　　亮点五：notonly…but…aswell不但…而且…

 

　　亮点六：用动名词词组做主语

 

　　亮点七：用idiom突出历史的重要性

 

　　亮点八：定语从句表达学生的期待